"I will exist off solely cinnamon buns"
"No stop eating the cup!"
"Il y a un souris qui grimpe sur mon tete."
"Do you even know my first name?? Yeah its "Miss""
"Code Red No WIFI!"
"Did you see my homework in the fridge?"
"The automatic carriage apprears to be busted"
"Windows 10 be like; "were getting everything ready for you""
"Smartulator "New look, same old taste!""
"You can hire a bodyguard to carry your plastic for you"
"Don't make a mess cause the garbage guys have to pick this stuff up and I don't want them to be like "WHAT THE FUCK!!!""
"I wish I never saw that." IWINST count: [97] and slowly growing
"Are you a newspaper? Cause there's a new issue with you every single day"
"If you breathe on the projector wrong it will turn off so please don't breathe"
"Would you like your peanut butter with or without crust?"
"I won't be there i'll be sick that day."
"Home is where the house is."
"Yurt on a shirt"
"My daughter claims she's missed out on [ 59112 ] dates because I have tied up the phone line with the modem."
"Let's take all these bad chemistry jokes... and barium!!!"
"8 minus 8 is 8"
"OwO que c'est ca?"
"You can't have half a person... Well I guess you could"
"Do NOT speak English"
"XD MOMENT"
"Je suis... Triggered!"
"I'm bohrd of these bohr models"
"That could do with a more bettering!"
"Is a transceiver like a receiver but transgender?"
"This meatloaf tastes like it was freshly laid from a chicken"
"This fish is crusty!"
"Whales have existed for at least one year"
"Why would I drink a salad?"
"It's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager."
"Friends are like bananas, if you peel their skin and eat them, they die."
"Friends are like snowflakes, if you pee on them, they disappear"
"Capitalize the first number"
"It's bacon bubble gum!"
"I didn't know vapes had muscles? And snakes???"
"Guys I found a life hack to look like thanos just tie a rope around yourself really tight-"
"Every time I open my eyes, I can see"
"Take your age. Add 2 then subtract 2. That's your age."
"If you can't swim, don't swim."
"Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs."
"LIVE - LAUGH - MINE"
"the mine is where the ores are"
"70% of Americans will not buy Corona Beer under any circumstances due to the Corona virus"
"wood fired pizza?" (i am sorry)
"Supply of quotes is limited due to the corona"