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Title: Kid at my friend's school sent this to a girl 2 grades below him. :/ Like I said earlier, I've never asked anyone this as i'm extremely nervous since it's so weird but I feel like I trust you enough at this point and like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to do this. Is there anyway you could give me a hand job? I'm so so so so horney to the point we're I literally feel like I'm going to blow up if I don't do something soon and jerking off alone isn't enough. Keep in mind that I'm NOT asking for anything further I promise. I simply want you to jerk me off as I've always dreamed of having it done by someone else and it's literally not that difficult at all. It's just so so embarrassing to ask someone so that why I took a lot of time thinking of who to ask. Like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to and I apologize if I grossed you out or made you uncomfortable in anyway but I just had to ask because the worst that could happen is you saying no which isn't that bad. I'm so scared what you're going to say!!!!! 😢😢😢 IM SO SCARED OMG OUR FRIENDSHIP COULD BE OVER!!!! 😢😢😢😢 |
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Reverse Navy Seal Copypasta What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak, I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend. |
| LOOK AT THIS SHIT. LOOK AT THIS STUPID BULLSHIT. "RESTARTING IN 12 MINUTES AND 58 SECONDS" THIS SHIT COMES UP ON MY COMPUTER EVERY SINGLE DAY. AUTOMATICALLY. "YOUR PC NEEDS TO RESTART TO FINISH INSTALLING IMPORTANT UPDATES" EVERY SINGLE DAY. AND EVERY SINGLE DAY, I CLICK "LATER". YOU KNOW WHY I CLICK "LATER"? BECAUSE THERES NO OPTION TO CLICK NEVER. I WANT TO CLICK NEVER. I NEVER WANT TO INSTALL THESE BULLSHIT MEANINGLESS SUPERFLUOUS--- I HATE 'EM!!! I HATE THESE STUPID UPDATES. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. EVERY DAY THIS COMES UP. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU CLICK LATER A FEW TIMES, A FEW DAYS GO BY AND YOU KEEP CLICKING LATER AND LATER CAUSE YOU DONT WANNA FUCKING DO IT. YOU JUST WANNA PUT IT OFF, THIS AUTOMATIC BULLSHIT THAT INTERRUPTS YOUR WORK AND MAKES YOU TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER AND YOU CLICK LATER AGAIN, EVENTUALLY IT TAKES AWAY THE OPTION TO EVEN CLICK LATER AND IT JUST SAYS "THESE ARE YOUR ONLY OPTIONS" THEY'RE BASICALLY PUTTING A KNIFE TO YOUR HEAD AND SAYING YOU CAN EITHER FUCKING WAIT A LITTLE BIT AND WE'LL SHUT IT OFF FOR YOU, OR YOU CAN JUST YKNOW BITE THE BULLET AND SHUT IT OFF NOW. IT DOESNT EVEN GIVE YOU A CHOICE TO SAY NO. IT JUST COMES UP WHENEVER IT WANTS AUTOMATICALLY AND SAYS "FUCK YOU, WERE TURNING OFF YOUR COMPUTER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN 10 MINUTES AND 47 SECONDS" LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I AM FUCKING RENDERING SOMETHING YOU COCKSUCKER. I'M DOING IMPORTANT SHIT! WHY DO YOU NEED TO INSTALL UPDATES? MORE UPDATES! MORE FUCKING SPYWARE SO THE NSA CAN KEEP WATCHING WHAT I'M DOING? LOOKING AT MY DICK PICS AND WATCHING ME JACK OFF? SPYING ON ME, OBAMA? YOU FUCKING- I'M A RACIST!!!!! YOU MADE ME RACIST!!!!!!!!!!! |
| i🙋♂️didn't 🚫 fuck 🍆💦my cat😾. i didnt 🚫cum 🍆💦on my cat😼 . i didnt❌ put 👉 my Dick 🍆 anywhere 🌎near my cat🙀 . Ive never ❌🙅♀️done anything weird ❓❓❓with my 💁♂️😻cats. I promised🤝 myself 🤞i wasnt going to make 💢💢apology 😿 videos📹 after last years📅 thing so im just trying to be as short and honest 👍 with this 👅😼as possible. |
| Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them. You're preventing the actual BTS fans who have waited for months from having the BTS meal experience. Eating the sauces without understanding their significance is literally cultural appropriation and it's not okay. |
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Almost every night I scroll reddit on mobile before going to bed. And let's say that some of these nights I look for NSFW stuff on reddit before going to bed. Sometimes the two mix together into a fun time. I use Boost for Reddit, there's a button that lets you go to random subs, or in last night's case, random NSFW subs. I started the deed while occasionally changing subreddits. Sometimes you get really great subreddits, sometimes you don't. Well, last night after an hour of pressing the button over and over, I ended up on r/RepressedGoneWild. It was the best mix of beautiful people and taboo, so I cranked shit up to 11. After some time I was just ready to bust, but the warrior in me said to go find another subreddit, and so I pressed the button. HOWEVER I ended up pressing the wrong button. Instead of pressing random NSFW, I pressed only random, and it brought me to r/Florida. The stars aligned and I was actually going to bust, and the first thing I see in that subreddit is a thumbnail picture of Ron Perlman. My post-nut clarity hit different that night. |
| I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 481k readers, I am not receiving 481k upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions. |
| Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? |
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If a single post mentions a girl all you fucking see in the comments is shit like "booba" "milkers" "titties" like literally how the fuck aren't any of you embarrassed of yourselves, seriously look at yourselves. Would u want anyone in real life to see you commenting this shit? probably fucking not and your all like literally fucking 13 anyway. I'm convinced half this whole fucking subreddit is just 500 pound landwhales behind the screen, you all have literally no lives, how about you just go watch porn instead of living out your sexual fantasies in a subreddit for fucking teenagers. Y'all need to grow up. Also if I see one single fucking "but its horny teenagers what do u expect" im literally gonna go fucking insane or something, being hormonal isnt an excuse for this kinda shit, its weird. Please next time before you go to make some weird ass creepy comment, just think, would you still make that comment if you weren't anonymous? If the answer is no, then the comment doesn't belong here, go to a porn subreddit or something. |
| Aight bruh shut ur dumbass up before i get to the packing on ur ass u nasty no neck built ass happy meal looking ass bvoy shut ur big booty ass up i caught ur dumbass cosplaying as ronald mcdonald till u got body slammed by a chicken nugget u nasty as boy after that u fell into a coma when u wake up u thought u was from lego ninja go u started saying ninja gooo u started smacking people on the streets with racoons till ur fatass got hungry u started eating them u said yea u got the yummy yuh yummy yuh ma yummy yuh u nasty ass boy cum in a bum cum in a son nasty ass bitch u bout dirty as shit boy i caught ur fatass in ur backyard belly dancing with cockroaches till u started dong the dream speedrun anthem they started speedrunning trying to kill the enderdragon u said minecraft was the best game in 2022 u enchanted ur body parts with efficiency 5 u became the fastest person on earth u started going on a big mac rampage eating every big mac u see fat neck built ass bitch u became depressed cus u got rejected 19 times in a row u got a charger and charged it into ur heart thinking it will fix ur depression like shit boy u thought u was michael jordan u started slamming basketballs into ur grandmas pussy u dirty ass bitchyou look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flip glazed charcoal slim jim with that fat gloggy booger in your nose mr clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 7 stomach 2 vertibre lookin ass nigga I caught you downstairs with 17 naked mole rats doing the Harlem shake in your basement You're 97-year-old grandmother died in a wheelchair and they called it the Ghost Rider They call you and your extra chromosome the double trouble goofy ass nigga stop playing with me mane You are a discombobulated philosophical butt flick disabled Crip walking crawfish Autobot doing the Cha Cha slide with 17 naked mole rats in your basement while your grandmother got simultaneously butt-fucked by 15 tap dancing chimpanzees dressed up as Dorothy dumbass boi ugly as hell stupid ass nigga I caught you doing a protest with your grandma in New York with 17 naked mole rats doing the Harlem shake Yo grandma got a Coochie beard you nasty nigga you slid on a slip n slide and got a carpet burn on yo forehead you faggot what's wrong wit you nigga you got sexually assaulted by e daters on roblox and they was throwing speed coil at yo dumbass and now you got elastic speed what's wrong wit you nigga ain't playing wit that nigga at all mane what's wrong wit you nigga cmere mane ya crush came into ya bathroom and you started hitting dance moves quit talkin to me mane what's wrong with that nigga ain't done wit you mane cmere mane, yo left eye cheek got herpes you a faggot mane i ain't playing wit u at all mane that bitch Goku was in yo bathroom and yo left balls got shriveled up you a fagbag bitch ain't playing at all mane You got lined up with a strawberry Pop-Tart with a coconut fade on your head dumbass boi I caught your grandmother getting annually butt fucked buy a crouton with a Gucci belt from northern Idaho you dumbass nigga shucho lil stupid ass goofy the dog rule34 eating a mcdonalds breakfast burrito while getting anally gangbanged simultaneously by 8 keemstars you gay ass bitch ass nigga |